Ray,
I think it sounds awesome... And I'm glad I could jump into one where you needed a hand... You dug out a few of my lyrics from the CC abyss a year ago and have continued to pick them up along the way (as well as many other lyricists work)... Much appreciated...
I'm not a big Beatles fan, but the "orange red maroon" screamed Beatles to me when I wrote it... and your delivery proved it...
I hope in the end it was what you were looking to convey in the song... life's a beach, but it must go on...
Cheers,
Mike